We have GOT to go shopping together sometime and hide underneath the racks or in the stand-up racks (those were the best!). I realize it may be a little bit more difficult than it used to be, but luckily both of us are fairly small people, so I think we should be able to fit.
*TEN YEARS IN THE FUTURE*
Liebke Zimmerman-Loomis: Gosh, Rose, these shoes would look perfect on you . . . oy, wait a minute. Rose? Rose? (looks around)
Ezekiel Zimmerman-Kowalczyk: What's wrong now?
Liebke: Where'd my Rose go?
Ezekiel: Ay gevalt, you'll be the death of me, I say! And you always losing things, your keys, your comb, your wife--
Liebke: And since when are you suddenly Mister Perfect, ah? You get snarky with me I get snarky with you.
Ezekiel: Hey, hey. Why always the fighting?
Liebke: Well, have you seen my wife?
Ezekiel: You mean my sister-in-law! Well, I'll just ask Sugar. Sugar--ay gevalt!
Liebke: What is?
Ezekiel: Oy, my Sugar, she is gone!
Liebke: God forbid!
Ezekiel: Yes, both our wives have left! Fled! Oy vay iz mir, the pain, the pain.
Liebke: And such beautiful shoes that would have looked so beautiful on their beautiful feet!
Ezekiel: All is in vain!
Liebke: Enough already with the sobbing! Why stand around kvetching and gnashing our teeth? We should go to the information desk, I say!
Ezekiel: Brilliant! And call for them on the intercom! Oy vey my brother, you are a genius.
Liebke: Oy vey I am! Wait a second, wait a second . . .
Ezekiel: What? What now?
Liebke: Oy, we have gotten all confused and turned around on our heads! *You* are Rose's husband. *I* am Sugar's husband.
Ezekiel Zimmerman-Loomis: Oy, of course! How could we be so stupid, the two of us?
Leibke Zimmerman-Kowalczyk: God knows.
Ezekiel: Are you sure?
Liebke: Now I am not so sure anymore. No, now I have forgotten.
Ezekiel: O well. Perhaps it is for the best. I could never keep it straight in this neo-hippie anarcho-syndicalist autonomous collective commune in which we're all living.
Liebke Zimmerman: Also we are identical twins, so it is hard to tell if these memories I have of weddings are memories of me in which I am ex post facto perceiving myself from a sort of abstract omniscient semi-supernatural gnostic consciousness into which I have vaulted my ego or just regular memories of you.
Ezekiel Zimmerman: Yes, yes. To the information desk!
(a stand-up rack of garish muu-muus shakes and stifled giggling emanates from within it)
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Author's Comments
dedicated to/inspired by
 , the greatest artiste evah!Do you remember the delight of hiding under clothing racks when you went shopping with your mum? Well, if you're too macho to admit it, don't panic. My identical twin sister Drakonfauc (aka Rose Loomis) and I (aka Sugar Kowalczyk) are more than willing to remember for you. And we remember how much fun it was! Ahh, good memories. And we were cute little girls too! Unfortunately, both Drakonfauc and I are completely insane and very, very childish. Er, I mean, innocent. And this is what we're going to be doing ten years in the future.  So, I guess you get our names.  (me!  ) is Sugar Kowalczyk is Rose LoomisThis sketch was written in approximately two minutes. Two whole minutes, wow! (P.S. I tried to do Yiddish accents, I really did, because we love Yiddish. I hope I got it right.) |
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August 9, 2005
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Comments
We're so cool.
Haha, so now we're twins, are we? Well, granted I'm Chinese and you're half-Puerto Rican, and granted we were born over five months apart, and granted our only similarity appearance-wise is eyes within the vicinity of the brown color...yep, we must be twins. I simply cannot find a single flaw in your logic.
(loffs you)
--
"To say it has the frango of time, that the greetings of to have the main role, and I am fried for its warm plasma, its his stars frango gotten ready and this manner, the gift of the frango of ravines agreed." - sentence destroyed by Free Translation.
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